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Naked News, Thursday May 28, 2020

Greetings, people of Earth, and welcome to Naked News! You know, celebrities often get a lot of flak when they try to – gasp! – share their opinions on a controversial topic. They hear “Shut up and dribble” or “why should I listen to some out of touch Hollywood elitist?”. Well, as our Entertainment uber-babe Frankie Kennedy is here to tell us, a bunch of A-listers have found a workaround! What’s the deal, dollface?

Laura, as you said, people love to slam famous people when they leave their lane. But a lot of them still want to use their fame for good causes!

Absolutely! And some of them do amazing things. Hell, there are entire charities that wouldn’t exist if some superstar hadn’t gotten involved!

Exactly! And THIS bunch of A-listers, along with the ONE World Campaign, have found a clever way to amplify their cause that’ll also keep them from being slammed! Here are the deets. Welcome inside entertainment everyone. It’s called the #PassTheMic campaign, and it’s seeing the stars hand their VERY popular social media accounts over to EXPERTS who’ll share factual information about the COVID-19 pandemic! The experts will include medical folks like Dr. Anthony Fauci, plus frontline workers and policy experts. The stars sharing access to their millions of followers include Julia Roberts, Hugh Jackman, Busy Philipps, and Penelope Cruz. You can get involved by visiting ONE.org.

Ron Jeremy is known as “The Hedgehog”, but it’s looking more and more like he’s just a PIG! The 67 year old porn legend is being investigated by the Los Angeles District Attorney’s Office, following several NEW sexual assault allegations. At least a dozen women had already come forward with accusations by 2018, which were serious enough that he’s been banned from the AVNs, the XBiz Awards, AND the Exxxotica expos. We’ll have to see if these latest accusations get him banned from the INDUSTRY.

Metallica has taken their Blackened whiskey to a new level! The original version is a rye-bourbon blend that’s aged in black brandy barrels while Metallica music plays… loudly. The new “Batch 100” is a collector’s edition, that includes a pair of vinyl picture discs of the actual Metallica playlist used during the hooch’s, quote, “sonic-enhancement process”. Pre-ordering the boozy box set will set you back a hundred and fifty bucks, but it’s all pretty freakin’ cool… and “Nothing Else Matters”.

It’s not exactly Coachella, but Orlando, Florida, is set to host a DRIVE-IN music festival! “Road Rave” will be a four-hour event featuring sets by Electronic artists including Blunts & Blondes, Riot Ten, and DJ Carnage, who’s also the event’s creator. It’ll see five hundred cars holding up to six people each, with strict social distancing rules in place. The fifty-bucks-a-car tickets sold out quickly, and proceeds are going to the ANF COVID-19 Relief Fund.

And finally, director Christopher Nolan has confused the crap out of us with mind-warping movies like Memento and Inception. And judging by the new trailer for his next flick, Tenet, he’s doing it again. If lead actor John David Washington looks kinda familiar, it’s either from his role in Ballers, or because he’s DENZEL Washington’s son. You may also have noticed Robert Pattinson, Kenneth Branagh, and Elizabeth Debicki. Not half-bad! Tenet is, rather optimistically, scheduled to hit theaters July 17th. Though that seems insane, it does look like it NEEDS the big screen!

And those are your entertainment highlights, I’m Frankie Kennedy.

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