Naked News, Tuesday July 7, 2020

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Hello, everyone, I’m Frankie Kennedy, welcome to Naked News! The big question every country and city is struggling with is “When to open up, and how?” Obviously, we don’t want to deny ourselves pleasure any more than we have to, but there are also heavy consequences for trying to get back to normal too quickly. Florida is learning that lesson now, and that’s where Laura’s starting things off in today’s Naked Newsroom.

Frankie, Miami-Dade’s mayor is rolling back business openings in the face of a COVID-19 surge. In an emergency order taking effect Wednesday, he closed party venues, banquet facilities, ballrooms, and gyms. The order was also set to close restaurants for everything but takeout and delivery, but that was later amended to allow outdoor dining with certain restrictions. The big silver lining: the beaches are open… but with a warning that they too will be shut down if people don’t behave. So party smart, Miami!

It may not seem like a priority right now, but ICE is still finding ways to kick people out of America. In a recent announcement, the agency explained that foreign students whose schools move their courses fully online will be subject to removal. Considering that this includes schools like Harvard, and international students contribute tens of billions of dollars to the American economy each year, it’s hard to understand what’s motivating this policy.

The Treasury Department has released the names of over six hundred thousand companies that got pandemic relief loans… and believe it or not, it makes for fascinating reading. There are the highly ironic recipients, like the Ayn Rand Institute. There are the possibly corrupt recipients, like the family business of Secretary of Transportation Elaine Chao, who also happens to be married to Mitch McConnell. And there are companies owned by very rich celebrities, including Floyd Mayweather’s boxing promotion… and Kanye West’s clothing brand! Wonder how this’ll affect Kanye’s presidential campaign! Don’t go away.

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