Naked News – Wednesday October 9, 2019

    News off the Top

    Welcome to Hump Day at Naked News, everyone. I’m Marina Valmont…

    And I’m WSJ.

    Okay, Whitney, time for some real talk. Are you really militant about safe sex… or do you sometimes let things slide a little? Well, it seems we as a society need to be a little more careful!

    Eila’s got the details from a new ‘Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’ report, right now in the Naked Newsroom.

    Looks like you can’t spell USA without the STDs! According to the CDC, after five consecutive years of increases, combined cases of syphilis, gonorrhea, and chlamydia reached an all-time high in 2018. Syphilis is growing the fastest by percentage: there are now about a hundred and fifteen thousand cases in America, up SEVENTY-ONE percent since 2014. In terms of sheer volume, though, chlamydia is king, with ONE-POINT-EIGHT MILLION cases last year. Long story short: play safe, everyone!

    California’s a beautiful state to drive through… but it’ll cost you! The average price of gas there recently hit four dollars and eighteen cents per gallon, its highest level in over five years! It’s also about a dollar-and-a-half above the national average! Some of those high California prices can be chalked up to state taxes and higher environmental standards… but the big factor is a number of unexpected refinery outages, all happening at the same time! Guess those people with electric cars are feeling EXTRA-smug right about now!

    I like looking at the beautiful ladies, but recently, Instagram’s got a little dark!… By which I mean the app now has a dark mode, with a white-on-black display. One slight hitch is it can’t be toggled on and off within the app. Basically, you have to set your phone to dark mode and Instagram will match it. So if you haven’t installed the latest update, get on it… and let the Dark Ages begin! Don’t go away!

    Trending Now

    Whitney, what’s the most unlikely pair of celebrity friends you can think of? Well, people were FLOORED at another surprising friendship that was revealed this weekend!

    It’s Trending Now with Laura.

    When the Dallas Cowboys played the Green Bay Packers on Sunday, a shot from inside the Cowboys’ owners box showed Ellen DeGeneres and George W. Bush, of all people, chumming around like old pals. Well, Twitter immediately flew into a tizzy! An AVALANCHE of people tweeted surprise, happiness, and even ANGER at the scene. So much anger in fact that Ellen had to post a video on Tuesday, defending her friendship with the ex prez.

    Something else that has people talking is this selfie that includes former Friends co-stars Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox and Matt LeBlanc. Courteney posted it to her Instagram and it quickly racked up over 2 million views and sixty thousand comments. It just goes to show you that even though it’s been 25 years, ANYTHING Friends-related is STILL guaranteed to set the internet on fire.

    Beyonce damn near broke the internet this week thanks to the SENSATIONAL gold dress she wore to the Tyler Perry Studios grand opening. The instantly-iconic form-fitting sparkly number hugged every curve, and social media couldn’t get enough! The photos she shared to Instagram combined for over TWELVE MILLION likes.

    And if it wasn’t October, we’d SWEAR this was an April Fool’s joke. Whisky distiller The Glenlivet recently announced a new “whisky drinking experience” that’s basically booze-filled Tide Pods. Whisky drinkers were HORRIFIED, calling it an “abomination”, “heresy”, and comparing it to New Coke. The Glenlivet’s intro video got over 8 and a half million views on Twiiter and tens of thousands of comments. Likely NOT the reaction they were hoping for!

    Now it’s time to check out our Hashtag FollowMe pick of the week! April Puck, also known as April Eve, is a genuine Dutch treat! The leggy blonde was the Netherlands’ Playmate of the Year, and has appeared on the cover of several other international Playboy Magazine editions as well. And it only takes a quick peek at her Instagram page to know why! With a body that just won’t quit and a pout you’ll never forget, her images are what wet dreams are made of. If you’re not one of her seven hundred thousand-plus followers, well, what the PUCK are you waiting for?! I’m Laura Desiree, and that’s what’s Trending Now

    Pillow Talk

    Sports

    Okay, if you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would you go?

    Well, Qatar, of all places, is moving up the list for many. The country is hosting the 2022 World Cup… and they’re metaphorically getting their feet wet with the inaugural World Beach Games.

    That sounds likes Sports, and Frankie’s standing by with the details.

    The first-ever World Beach Games get underway in Qatar this weekend, and it should be a real party. Athletically speaking, of course. Around THIRTEEN HUNDRED athletes from NINETY-SEVEN countries will be competing in over a dozen sports, with over three hundred medals up for grabs.

    And even though I’ve got divided loyalties, I’m rooting for Team USA. Possibly because they’re sending a SIXTY-NINE member team. One that’s also mostly women: 42 to 27, to be exact. Here are some big names to keep an eye on!

    Open water swimmer Haley Anderson is a two-time Olympian. In fact, she was a silver medalist at the London Games, finishing just FOUR-TENTHS of a second behind the winner in the 10-kilometer marathon event. Here, she’s competing in the Open Water Swimming 5K… so it should be half as hard!

    Of course, nothing says ‘beach games’ like Beach Volleyball, and Karissa Cook has really been cooking lately! She’s coming off a gold medal performance at the Pan American Games in July… and considering she went to Stanford and the University of Hawaii, I’m guessing she knows her way around a beach!

    And finally, if you liked one beach volleyball player, get ready for two! Sorry, fellas, they’re brothers, not sisters… but if it helps, one of them is named Maddison! Either way, the McKibbin Brothers, Riley and Maddison, are siblings who don’t feel the rivalry. They’re reportedly the only brothers to have played together in high school, college, and professionally overseas and on the beach, in volleyball history. Hopefully, they can make a little more history! Bring home the gold, guys and gals. Qatar has MORE than enough! For Naked News, I’m Frankie Kennedy.

    News off the Top Part 2

    Mac users are saying “Adios, iTunes” after Apple finally got rid of the 16-year-old service. The newest MacOS update, Catalina, replaces iTunes with a trio of new apps – Apple TV, Apple Music, and Podcasts. The change comes as more and more people are buying subscription listening services, rather than buying songs or albums. But the company is assuring users that their music library, including playlists AND “ripped” music not bought via iTunes, will be ported over to the new Apple Music app.

    I think we can safely say that the future is HERE. Why? Because scientists have just made LABORATORY-GROWN MEAT… with a 3D PRINTER… in SPACE! Scientists aboard the International Space Station used cow cells and a special “bioprinter” to grow “Frankenmeat”, as part of a project to prove that lab-grown meats can be produced in places with minimal resources. This COULD help slash the huge impact meat farming has on climate change. IF, of course, people are willing to EAT the stuff!

    And finally, a man in California is lucky to be alive after a massive great white shark tried to take a chomp out of his kayak! Danny McDaniel was on the water east of Santa Catalina Island when the, quote, “humongous” great white attacked. Fortunately, kayaks are NOT delicious, so it gave up, but left a pair of huge TEETH behind. Based on the teeth, experts estimated the shark was up to TWENTY feet long! Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water! Those are today’s headlines! I’m Eila Adams.

    Closing Remarks

    And that brings us to the end of today’s Naked News! What did you think?

    Make like Madonna and express yourself! Drop us a line at [email protected]!

    And when you’re done, be sure to catch up with all our shenanigans on social media. Links to our accounts are on our home page. And if you have to pick just one to follow, our Premium Snapchat is by FAR the most uncensored. Just sayin’.

    Before we go, we just want to give you a little tease about our upcoming coverage of the Pornhub Awards!

    Laura is heading to LA to hit the red carpet and snag some interviews with a few of the hottest names in the biz. I’ll admit, I’m pretty envious.

    So am I. Especially because she’s ALSO going to be hitting one of Hollywood’s BEST lingerie shops to try on sexy wares ALONGSIDE our gorgeous friend Romi Rain!

    They’ll be shooting the whole time, so at least we’ll get to see it. All you fans can look forward to awesome awards coverage AND a super-hot shopping spree.

    But before that, we’ll see you back here again tomorrow. Frankie will be your host.

    Take care everyone.

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