Naked News – Tuesday September 10, 2019

    Transcript:

    Welcome back to Naked News, everyone! I’m Frankie Kennedy, and we’re going to skip the foreplay and get STRAIGHT to business courtesy of the lovely and talented Tia Larose! I hear you’ve got quite the Boob for us this week.

    I’m not going to lie Frankie, it’s pretty good. Have you ever had a neighbor who complained about you?

    Hell yeah! There’s not enough fingers on my hands to count how many times THAT’S happened! But I think we ALL have a crazy neighbor story or two.

    Or 3 or 4, but let me tell you, count yourself lucky that you’ve never has a neighbor like THIS! Cilla Carden is a woman who lives in Perth, Australia. And she’s a vegan. Now, we’ve got lots of vegans here at Naked News, and they’re all reasonable, sane people. But not Cilla! SHE’s the kind of vegan that make people think vegans are UNreasonable, INsane people!

    You see, Cilla is mad at her neighbors on both sides of her. And the BIGGEST reason she’s mad at them is because, are you ready, they like to barbecue! In fact, she’s SO DAMN MAD, she actually SUING, and has taken her complaints all the way to the SUPREME COURT! All because she can smell her neighbors’ grilling meat!

    They’ve even tried to be accommodate her by moving their barbecues further away from her yard, but that apparently wasn’t good enough. Cilla seems to have forgotten that living in a neighborhood along with other people means there are OTHER PEOPLE. And practically EVERYONE loves to barbecue! It’s not a conspiracy, its just delicious!

    OBVIOUSLY, court after court has tossed Cilla’s lawsuits, saying the neighbors are just living their lives like normal people. But she says she plans to keep up the legal fight. Or, as I call it, HARASSMENT.

    The fact is, if you can’t deal with neighbors doing completely typical things, YOU are the problem and should move out to the woods somewhere. Trying to make EVERYONE ELSE change for your sake is ridiculous. Which is why Ms Cilla Carden, you ARE our flame-broiled, butter-basted BOOB of the WEEK! For Naked News, I’m Tia Larose.

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