Naked News – Tuesday July 16, 2019

    Hello, everyone, and welcome to Naked News, the program with nothing to hide. I’m Frankie Kennedy..

    And I’m Madison Banes. Frankie, as you pointed out, WE have nothing to hide, so real talk: do you believe there’s other intelligent life in the universe? No matter what you believe, you’re no doubt familiar with the legend of Area 51.

    The alleged alien holding site is back in the news, and Alana’s got the story right now in the Naked Newsroom!

    A showdown could be coming between the Air Force and conspiracy theorists! The Facebook event titled “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” is PROBABLY a joke… but with OVER A MILLION people saying they’re attending, the military is taking it seriously. A spokeswoman noted that Area 51 is an open training range, adding “The U.S. Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets.” The event is set for September 20th, so I guess that’s when we’ll find out if there’s intelligent life HERE!

    Italian police recently arrested three men in possession of an ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING arsenal. These men, who had links to a neo-fascist movement, had Nazi paraphernalia, automatic weapons, ammunition, and a French-made AIR-TO-AIR MISSILE! According to reports, the plan was to sell the over-eleven-foot-long missile for upwards of HALF A MILLION dollars! I don’t speak Italian, but MAMMA MIA!

    We all know Ikea is Swedish for ‘common sense’, but we may have to learn the Swedish for ‘crazy behavior’! Apparently, thousands of Swedes have decided to implant microchips into their skin! The chips are roughly the size of a grain of rice and are expected to do everything a smartwatch can do, including financial transactions and unlocking doors. The procedure reportedly costs under two hundred dollars, but when it comes to inserting technology into my body, money REALLY isn’t the issue!

    Agreed. When it comes to electronics in me, I draw the line right after sex toys!

    Thanks, Alana. See you in a bit.

    Madison, if you worked for Sports Illustrated and you were looking for the next SI swimsuit model, what characteristics would you want to see? Well, SI just wrapped up their 2019 swimsuit model search and we have a lucky winner.

    Here’s Marina with the big reveal, in Entertainment.

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