Naked News – Monday July 15, 2019

    Transcript:

    Welcome, one and all, to another glorious week of Naked News! I’m your host, Laura Desiree, and since I get to decide, I say we’re going to start with Madison Banes and our Naked News Bulletins. Especially since I hear a planeload of passengers at Newark Liberty Airport had an EPIC SCARE this weekend!

    They sure did, Laura! For a few minutes there, it looked like there might’ve been a SUICIDE BOMBER on their plane! The JetBlue flight to Tampa was still on the ground awaiting take-off, when a photo showing a SUICIDE VEST was AirDropped to the people onboard! All 150 people had to be evacuated onto the tarmac while they, the plane, and all the luggage was inspected by bomb-sniffing dogs. There’s no word yet on whether it was a hoax, a prank, or a mistake, but fortunately, there were no injuries and the plane eventually made its way to its destination. Albeit about 4 hours late!

    Game of Thrones may be done, but here’s a Song of Ice and Fire: there are “unprecedented” wildfires burning all around the Arctic. There have been over a hundred in the Arctic Circle alone, and also huge fires in Alaska, Siberia, and even Greenland. That part of the planet has been heating at a pace twice as fast as the rest of the world, and experts say that’s no coincidence. Climate change is real, folks!

    Facebook as a company obviously has money to burn… and it’s going to need it! The privacy violations revealed by the Cambridge Analytica scandal are expected to result in a FIVE BILLION DOLLAR fine from the Federal Trade Commission! Now, many are calling this a win for Facebook, with presidential candidate Elizabeth Warren noting Facebook’s market value went UP after the announcement. That said, it would be the largest fine the FTC ever issued against a tech company… so maybe it’s a start? I’m Madison Banes. Back in a flash!

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